Redneck Dating Tips II

First impressions are important, but so is free expression. If the girl is built like an early contestant on The Biggest Loser and chooses to adorn herself in neon pink cropped halter tops and snow white Daisy Dukes, that is no one's business but her own. If people don't like it, they don't have to look. We are put on this Earth to either inform or entertain and in that getup she is sure to do one or the other. On the other hand, if she is built like Miss Alabama's younger sister, first impressions will win out over free expression and the girl can dress as she likes. As for the guy, a man can also wear whatever he wishes on a date, with one exception. There are 3 occasions when a man must wear a shirt. (1)Church. (2)Funerals. (3)First dates. At least the first 15 minutes, while you are talking to the parents. Talking to the parents during a first date has its own rules. It is not nessesary to bring up your first marriage, the number of kids you are paying for, or the number of times you have been in jail. We all make mistakes. However, you should mention if you have any communicable diseases. That is a health issue. Picking up your old fishing buddy's ripe 16-year old for the first date is not the time to chatter about old times, like the time he got so drunk he threw Petey Winston's car battery in the lake. The girl has already heard that story, anyway. And it could make you late for the liquor store.

Red-Neck Dating I

When one asks a girl for a date one should mention the planned activity. A girl should always have an idea of what is to happen, so she may dress accordingly. A girl might dress differently if she knows you will take her to a drive-in movie as opposed to gigging frogs, or fly-fishing. She may want to save the new waders for the trout stream. When one appears at the girl's door to begin the date, one doesn't sit outside and honk. That is rude. Come up and knock on the door. Greet her immediate family politely, using the titles they are entitled to (Hi, Uncle Bob. Hello, Aunt Doris.). Arrange a time for her to return. When the cows come home, depending on your area, may be enough. Escort your date down the driveway, open the door to your pickup truck, and offer to hoist her up the step. Push the dog out of the way, if nessesary. When you arrive at the place of refreshment, let her choose first. Depending on what she wants, you may have to restrict yourself to the dollar menu. After you both are seated, make sure she has all the needed flatware and napkins, even if you yourself have to go pick them out of the bins by the soda dispensers. When it is time to pay the check, make sure you have enough money. Never leave your date as collateral while you go get money to pay the bill. It is embarrassing for the girl. Offer to leave the dog instead. This show the girl what a gentleman you are. It also relieves the food manager's mind. He knows you will come back for the dog.