Rain and its Consequences

It has been overcast, partly-cloudy, and dank, with showers, rainstorms, and downpours for the last ten days around here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we got anything like New England did, with massive flooding and 175-year-old dams standing up against 500-year waters. Or Arizona or any of the other drenched places in the U.S. I'm just saying the upper Midwest was not forgotten. We had a warm winter with rain and sleet and snow, and now it's been a wet spring. There is a house propped up over a dug-out basement in my town and I expect every day to see it melted down into the hole. There are clumps of lilacs weaving arks and wildlife standing in line to board. Birds have taking to wearing water-wings and even the mushrooms shelter under umbrellas. They drained the lake in our local park to compact the soil. Now it's filling up again, naturally, against the wishes of the park board. The town would get a cease-and-desist order but they don't know which fish to hand it to. Entire gardens are too soggy to plant and the Farmer's Market is getting up a petition. Local farmers are checking into just what it takes to grow rice. When the sun does make an appearance the people walk around in shock. First-graders are learning to spell the word "shadow" and high-school seniors are doing term papers on "Sunshine, Myth or Delusion?" I think I see some sunshine now. Quick, somebody get a camera!

Puhl's Rules I

*Never hit a lawyer in a crosswalk. *Never tell a farmer that you are bored. *Time passes quickly. Cheese does not. *You only get one try at life, so be creative. *A book is a mind capsule. *Babies are adorable because they cannot talk. Teenagers are not because they do. *Even a grain of sand casts its own shadow. *Peace never rode into town on a tank. *All crimes can be traced back to the desires of passion, power or pelf. *Maturity is passing up ice cream without regret. *War has no heroes, only survivors. *Happiness is the best revenge. *Good manners will get you into places that stop bad manners at the door.